Daddy in the Maternity Ward

Ok, so when I was pregnant with my first, Jacob, I had this romantic idea of what I wanted my birthing experience to be like. And part of that fantasy was having Ben there with me, being my rock, supporting me, and helping me through the pain.
I remember my Godson’s mum telling me how after he was born, his dad was sent away home, and couldn’t stay any longer at the hospital, and was to come back the next day. And when she told me this, I instantly got angry, and was adamant, that I was not gone let anyone send Ben home, and that he was to stay with me the whole time, blah blah blah.

Fast forward to the night before Jacob was born, I was 8 days over due, and because they weren’t that busy, I was asked If I wanted to be induced that night, and of course I said yes because I was so SICK of being pregnant!
It’s 9 pm and I’m lying on he bed, and the midwives are there doing my inducing, and Ben is calmly sat next to me, holding my hand, and my fantasy birth seems to be going alright so far. But once it got past midnight, I started feeling really uncomfortable, and it didn’t matter how I sat, or laid in the bed, I wasn’t feeling relaxed, and comfortable, and I was no way able to sleep. But sleeping Beauty next to me, had no problem! Ben had put two chairs together to make a bed for himself. Although it actually wasn’t that easy to sleep on, and I got so annoyed by his moaning of how tired he was, and told him to use my bed.

7 am the midwives change routa, and I’m given paracetamol, and they are considering breaking my waters. Ben on the other hand is complaining about the lack of sleep he’s had, how uncomfortable he was, and how hungry etc. *rolls eyes* luckily for me, this affects ben’s ability to help me in any way. So the midwives have made the decision to break my waters and move me to my own private room, this is when the pain really kicks in. And it’s also the point when my sister (who is also pregnant) arrives to help and see her nephew. My sister kind of focused on what the midwives and doctors were saying and doing, and poor Ben was trying so hard to stay awake and hold my hand.

Once I’d had the Epidural I was calm, comfortable and could finally lie down. i was on it for 4 hours and then I had to push. I remember Ben assisting the head midwife in holding one of my legs, while she held the other, because I was still numb, I had to be held and follow the midwives instructions on how to push. My sister was by my head at one point, cheering me on, but then I think she went down to my legs to see Jacob appear. She was so excited.
While I was in the theatre being stitched back together, Ben gave Jacob his first feed, and with the help and support of our midwife, he put his first nappy on, and his first outfit. Then when I was brought through to give him a feed myself, I was told that Ben had to go home. And I wasn’t scared, and I was a bit relieved to be honest. I needed to sleep, he needed to sleep, and I felt I was in the best place.

I’ve heard many stories of how Daddy’s are and how they handle the whole birthing experience. Some stories would make you laugh, some would make you jealous, and some would annoy you.
My father in-law for example, while my sister in law was being born, sat and read a newspaper, while my mother in law was screaming her tits off. After the birth, he went to play in a football match for a sunday league?!
When my mother in law was in labour with Ben, his dad was in the pub, getting pissed and celebrating?!
Then you have my brother in law, who was trying his hardest to do everything and anything he could think of to ease my sisters pain. While I stood there eating M&Ms telling her “you’ll be fine” and “not long now”.
When My mum was in labour with me, my dad was stuck on an oil rig, because he boss wouldn’t let him go home to see the birth of his first child. So my grandma was there instead for my mum and apparently she was amazing, and even ended up taking over from the midwife!

I know now I didn’t need Ben to rub my back and tell me everything going to be ok blah blah blah. I just needed to see him, and needed him just there. I knew I could do it myself, but it was a comfort to have him there by my side in the room, even if he was moaning about how tired he was. Honestly, they’d be useless at going through labour themselves, midwives would quite if men were able to give birth!
When Ben was asked what it was like being there in the room seeing me going through labour, he said that it was really difficult for him, because he didn’t know how to make me feel better, and all he felt was useless. Then he said he was scarred for life when he saw Jacob actually come out of my fanny, cus he said it really is like watching your favourite pub burn down!

For me personally, having your partner there is comforting but Im also glad my sister was there because she was switched on, and new everything that was happening to me and who was in the room, and what was happening next. Ben didn’t have a clue, and probably still couldn’t tell you who did what. It is also difficult having the father of your child stand next to you, and not suffering any pain what so ever, when it’s partly his fault that you are screaming and crying at the top of your lungs, and possibly shitting as well, infront of room full of people staring at your fanny telling you to “push!”

I must admit though, when I was in labour with Finnley, thankfully it all happened in one day, and Ben had gotten a really go nights sleep the night before, and was a bit more switched on. He even recognised a couple of the midwives from the first time!

So forget that fantasy you have in your head about how amazing its all gone be, and how supportive your partner is going to be, because the reality is, you are the only one doing the pushing, the only one in pain, and nothing they do or don’t do is really going to help. But, if having them there is enough for you then great, however please consider having a second person in the room, incase your partner’s brain is frazzled and has no idea what’s actually going on. I’d also recommend that second person to be female, if possible.

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The MEGA Love For Autumn Tag

The lovely Cassie over at Zombie Goddess Beauty, tagged me in her Autumn Tag. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a tag and they are so much fun. Plus they’re always a good way to let you know more about myself.
Now I’ve ever done a tag based on a season, although I think I did one about christmas, but it wasn’t about winter, so yeah this is my first tag based on a season.
I’ve grown to love Autumn over the last few years, I like that it’s still sunny, but I can wear a jumper or a cardigan. And our Autumn is getting warmer all the time, I don’t think it gets really cold until December.
Anyway, lets get on with this tag then…

1. What signifies the start of Autumn to you?
The day I need to put on a cardigan during the day!

2. What are you most excited about this Fall?
Well it’s actually already arrived, I bought my first Autumn Wreath for my front door and I put it up and it looks AMAZING! Thats what I was most excited about and I guess any other home decor I haven’t yet bought for this season.

3. Name one place you want to visit this Autumn.
I’d like to take the boys to a woodland. We are actually going away for a weekend in yorkshire next month and Im looking forward to taking the boys for nature walks and to the park!

4. What is one item on your Autumn Bucket List?
Eh CARDIGAN!

5. What is the best way to spend a rainy day?
Comfies on, snuggled on the sofa, with either Disney Life or Netflix on!

6. What gets you into the fall spirit?
The colours, and putting my cardigan on!

7. Describe your ideal fall day.
The whole family in doors, maybe the heating on, cosy jumpers on, Disney films on, and outside it would be windy and the trees would be red, yellow and orange and the leaves would be blowing everywhere! And I’d be cosy inside.

8. What TV show are you most excited about this fall?
THE WALKING DEAD!!!!

9. What are you being for Halloween/What were you this Halloween?
I don’t really like dressing up, so I won’t be doing that this year, but when I was 10 years old, I went as Wednesday Adams for my Primary School, and it was the best!

10. What is the Fall weather like where you live?
Well luckily my house is near a brooke and surrounded by big trees, so I see the leaves falling, and it will be chilly in the morning and evening but warm at lunchtime.

11. What changes do you look forward to in Autumn?
The weather not being so hot. I don’t do well in the heat, so the cooler temperature I certainly look forward to.

12. Is pumpkin spice worth the hype? Probably, I wouldn’t know as I don’t drink coffee, but I like the smell, and it gets everyone excited about the season.

13. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Autumn? The colours, the oranges, reds and mustards, and Jack Skellington!

15. Do you have any Autumn traditions? Not yet, but I guess my Autumn wreath will be my new Autumn tradition!

16. The moment of truth, is Autumn your favourite season? No, sorry, it’s CHRISTMAS!!!!

17. Do you decorate your room/home for autumn? I haven’t before but I’m making an effort this year.

18. Do you have any fall pet peeves/something you dislike about fall?
Trick or Treating. It’s the one thing I dislike about Halloween. And it’s the biggest reason I’ve not decorated my home for this season before because I don’t want to encourage trick or treaters.

19. What is your favourite Autumnal Colour? This is hard, because I love a bit of orange and mustard AND red, but maybe the orange a bit more.


20. What is your favourite Fall Scent? Cinnamon!

21. What is your favourite Autumn Candle? Cinnamon or orange scented, with a bit of ginger and vanilla.

22. What is your favourite Fall Fashion Item? CARDIGAN!

23. What is your favourite Fall Accessory? Scarf

24. What is your favourite Fall/Halloween Film? IT’s between Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare Before Christmas.

25. What is your favourite Fall Fashion Trend this year? Well, my work as got some lovely red ad black items in, and normally I wouldn’t go for those colours, but I”ve already bought a red wooly jumper and I”ve got my eye on a red and black checked skirt and a black turtle neck to wear with it! And I don’t normally wear skirts!

26. Halloween or Thanksgiving? Because I don’t like trick or treating, and I love a big warm meal with family, it has to be Thanksgiving (even thought we don’t celebrate it here in the UK)

27. Cinnamon or Pumpkin Pie Spice? Cinnamon!

28. Jeans, Leggings or Skirts/Shorts w/Tights? I’m a jeans girl, but I have my eye on a skirt at work, so I’m gonna do something new and get it.

29. Scary Movie or Haunted House? Scary Movies are SO PREDICTABLE! They are fun to watch with a group of people cus you can scare each other while watching it, but I’ve done a couple of haunted houses, and even though you know its not real, you still scream your way through it, and its hilarious when your with friends, so Haunted House!

30. DIY Halloween Costume or DIY House Decorations? I’ve never made a costume (I have no idea how to) but I have made my own home decorations, so DIY decorations for me!

That was fun! I enjoyed that. Although, Cassie’s post had 60 questions, I’ve only answered 30 because I’m not a beauty expert so I couldn’t answer the beauty questions, and there were questions about things I’ve never done. But here is Cassie’s original post CLICK HERE and you can see all 60 questions, or you can just answer the 30 I did, its up to you. Either way Im sure you will have fun doing it.

I Tag: Stacey, Gemma, Natalie, Emily, Steph, Becky, Eleanor,

“Autumn is a second Spring, when every leave is a flower.”

Jamie

The Joys of Potty Training

Yes, the joys of potty training, oh what fun! It’s one of the hardest jobs and one of the jobs we dread. Especially for first time parents because you hear so many potty tales from other parents, and for some reason, grandparents have forgotten what they did, which doesn’t help you at all.
Health visitors these days are not that bothered about potty training, and believe it should be the last thing on your “to do” list. They’re too worried about scaring boys and girls and it taking longer for parents to accomplish. So basically you’re on your own!

With Jacob, he was showing all the signs very early on, and we tried several times from 2 years old onwards. From 18 months old, Jacob wasn’t peeing through the night, and by the time he was 2, he was doing big regular pees, rather than lots of little pees. He could clearly control his bladder. But, because he is non-verbal, he was never able to tell me if he needed to go ‘pee pee’.
So we stuck with the pull ups, and after he turned 3 we had another go at it. At the same time, my nephew was also ready for potty training and was doing really well. For nearly a week, I battled with Jacob, hoping he would naturally use the potty because he no longer liked being wet. However, by accident, while at my sisters, we were getting the boys ready for a bath, when Jacob stood in front of the toilet and peed standing up! I could have cried with happiness. My boy wanted to stand up and pee at the toilet, not sit and pee in the potty. Since that day, we’ve probably only had a handful of accidents. He has been so good going to the toilet, so proud of him!

Side note: Jacob decided a few weeks after accomplishing going to the toilet that he prefers sitting on the toilet – so he doesn’t stand up and pee anymore!

I understand that potty training can be an extremely difficult task for children with autism, and for their parents. I can only imagine how stressful it must be. If Jacob was using PECS at that time (picture communication) or speaking we might have found it a lot easier, and he would have been able to tell us that he wanted to stand up and pee like daddy. But this is just an example of the difficulties and challenge we face, and we manage to get through them, eventually, it just takes us longer.

Our youngest, Finnley surprised us recently by sitting on the potty one afternoon in between getting his bum changed. He sat on it for over 5 minutes and was chatting away to me (in his own language) and I just followed his lead and sat on the floor in the bathroom for nearly an hour, and then he peed in the potty! Totally spontaneous and unplanned, but so glad we did it.
Finnley is 2 & 1/2 so he’s 6 months younger than Jacob was when he used the toilet, but he doesn’t speak properly for his age, so we still have a communication problem. Luckily, he understands us very well, and I don’t know how many times I said “go pee pee” those first couple of days.
But our lil man did brilliantly, and by the third day, he took himself to the bathroom, sat on his potty and did a poo!!!! YAY! I was so proud!

For both boys I read lots of advice online, and asked family and friends as well. My mother in law is of the believer that you just strip them naked and leave to run around and eventually they’ll get sick of being wet. She also advised to do this in the summer. I did try this but Finnley wasn’t showing any signs he understood the purpose of the potty and he didn’t seem to be bothered by getting wet.
one of the tips I read online was to always keep a potty around the house, so they got used to seeing it. Another tip was to change them in the bathroom so they know that’s where you go to pee and poo. When the potty training failed during the summer, i did both these tips. I would definitely say they helped and definitely had an influence on Finnleys decision to sit on the potty himself and pee.

By day 4 of Finnley’s potty training, we managed to go a whole day without an accident! WOOP WOOP! And I was starting to say “go pee pee” less and less. And by Day 6, Finnley was coming to me or Daddy, taking our hand and walking us to the batroom and pointing to the potty, letting us know he wanted to pee/poo. This was such a surprise to us, because this was something he did on his own, which showed he has a clear understanding of where he needs to pee and poo. Then on day 9 he left us a present behind the TV unit *rolls eyes* so there are still accidents!

I am well aware, that potty training is different for all children, and its certainly different for boys and girls. I don’t know if the way we’ve done it would be right for evyones child, but it certainly has worked for Finnley. He is doing so well, and the relief I have that this dreaded task is almost complete is overwhelming. My Finnley is no longer a baby anymore. The baby days are officially gone, and although I’m looking forward to what’s to come, its a lil sad at the same time because you know, as a mum, this is when they start to need you less and less.

If you are thinking about when to start potty training your little one, hopefully you’ve gotten some handy tips and are more aware of what to expect, and what not to expect. And even though its that task we want to maybe try and get done as soon as possible, it IS best not to force it, and to wait until you see plenty of signs from your lil man or lady. Take it from me, they’ll let you know in their own way.

“Take a deep breath and remember, Potty Training is a developmental process, not a race”

Jamie

We’re Going To Disneyland Paris!

We are going to DISNEYLAND PARIS IN 8 & 1/2 WEEKS…. OH BOY! Ever since the boys were born, we have been dreaming of their first visit to Disneyland, and meeting their favourite characters, flying on Dumbo, and watching the magical fireworks. We are so excited as parents, and because we want to go back so badly ourselves. But ultimately, witnessing the boys reactions to seeing the park for the first time, seeing the castle, meeting Mickey, it’s going to be magical and memorable for us. 
There’s still lots of things we need to get, like ears, outfits, backpacks etc. But we are no experts, and so we’ve also been reading lots of tips and advice on going with a family, and watched A LOT of vlogs too. If you have any advice for us, or handy tips, please let me know in a comment or on twitter, it would be very appreciated.

Now lets tell you about the trip we’ve booked… I must also add, that my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and mother are also joining us on this trip, as they’ve never been, AND my sister and mother will be celebrating their 30th and 60th birthday while we’re there! 
We’ve booked November, for 5 nights and 6 days, and we’re all staying onsite at Hotel Cheyenne. We chose Cheyenne because the boys love Toy Story, and the rooms are Woody themed! The table lamps are cowboy boots! We’ve also got the half-board meal plan included and of course, our park tickets. 
We know we could have done it slightly cheaper by staying offsite, but for our first family trip, we just wanted to be as close to the park as possible, have nice room, and not worry about food. Oh but we are driving! Yep, my husband worked out, that its 50 miles less to Disneyland Paris, than it is to Aberdeen, Scotland, where my family live! And we’ve done that drive loads of times, so the drive to Disney shouldn’t be an issue… we hope.

November IS going to be cold, we know, and we are planning on wearing a different Disney jumper everyday, rather than a t-shirt. HOWEVER, it’s going to be CHRISTMAS THEMED!!!! Oh its going to be so magical, SO EXCITED!

Have you gone to Disneyland Paris with your young family? Or any of the Disney parks? Did you have a magical experience? I really hope the boys enjoy it, and luckily we are there long enough to take our time if its too much for them, it can be overwhelming for us adults, so its bound to be for the kids!

Have a magical day!

Jamie

My Netflix Recommendations

Like most people these days, we’re watching a lot on Netflix right now. It’s got so much on there these days, you’d definitely find something you’d like. And with it being Autumn, and the warmer days leaving us, now is the perfect time for getting stuck into something new on the TV.
But, with Netflix comes a lot of time spent on deciding on what to watch – am I right? You probably ask friends and family what they’re watching as well, so you don’t spend so much time deciding. Well, I’ve got a few programmes I’d recommend you to watch, or at least give a go, and to save you wasting time making that awful “what will I watch tonight?” decision…

Designated Survivor
Starring Keifer Sutherland, this is an American political drama, that would definitely keep you hooked if you like the genre. Sutherland plays Tom Kirkman who begins the series as Secretary of Housing Development. He has been chosen to be the “Designated Survivor” while the rest of Congress are in the Capital. The worst case scenario happens, and the Capital is blown up, which means Kirkamn is now officially The President of the United States! It’s really good, and gives you a really good insight into American Politics, and the issues there are between the Democratic Party and the Republican party. We’ve just finished all there is up to now on Netflix which is 3 seasons worth.

Stranger Things
You will have heard about this series for sure! And if you have but haven’t watched it yet, why?? It’s SO GOOD! It’s definitely for fans of a good thriller, with 80’s throwback! Some people might say its Horror, but it depends on what you find scary. It’s got a lot of nostalgia, great soundtrack, humour, suspense, and its definitely binge worthy. Theres three seasons to watch, plenty to keep you going, but if you enjoy it as much as we did, then you might do all three seasons over a long weekend!

The Keepers
If you have watched “Making a Murderer” and got hooked, then you might want to watch The Keepers. It’s a very similar documentary series but it’s not for the weak stomachs. I thought it was about a murder again, but it’s way more than that, and can be really upsetting, and very sad. So make sure you’re in the mood to watch it, because its dark and grim and doesn’t have a happy ending. But like “Making a Murderer’ it’s shocking, and it grips you!

The Let Down/Workin Moms
Both shows are very similar, and both are very relatable if you’re a mum. ESPECIALLY is you’ve not long had a baby. One is Canadian and written by the lead female character, and the other is Australian which I watched in one night and cracked me up! The Let Down (The Australian one) is about a new mum and it starts off when her baby is 12 weeks old, and she has joined a mummy group, which she’s not sure about at first, but realises she needs it. Workin Moms is again about a new mum, and she goes to a mummy group, but its about Mums going back to work, or wanting to go back to work, and seeing the challenges they face while trying to juggle their careers and being a mum.

Dead To Me
Starring Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini. This is so funny, but its dark humour. Theres swearing, and a bit of violence, it’s quirky and it’s binge worthy. So glad they’re making a second series because I want more. It starts right away, and isn’t slow, and you want more.

Friends
Rumour is, Friends is only on until January 2020. I have watched this so many times over the years. I’ve had it on VHS, on DVD and now I’m streaming it. If i need something funny that I can watch in the background, I will always choose this. I don’t have to ‘watch’ it, cus I’ve watched it so many times. Listening to it is enough for me, especially when I’m seeing to the boys and cleaning etc, It’s nice to listen to cus I’ll be laughing around the house. So even if you’ve already watched it, watch it again, why not, make the most of it while it’s still on Netflix, cus once it’s gone, it’s gone!

Oh and in terms of film choices, I’ve just recently watched ‘Wine Country” and that was so funny, if you liked Bridesmaids then you’ll like this. Also if you fancy a cheesy girlie film, give “Falling Inn Love” a go. It’s an easy watch and I enjoyed it.

Hopefully my recommendations have given you some ideas on what to watch. Or maybe they’e gotten you in the mood to watch something similar, or something you’ve saved on your ‘watch list’.

“Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”

Jamie

Meet The Beasts

I thought I would introduce you properly to the family, so you know who we all are for future reading. I’m Jamie (Mummy) and I’m originally from Scotland but live in England. I met Ben (AKA Daddy, The Hubby & The Beast) 13 years ago in Spain. I moved to England to be with him and have never looked back. Jacob is our eldest Beastie and he is 4 & 1/2 years old. Finnley is our youngest Beastie, and he is 2 & 1/2 years old. Gus Gus is the furry one, the first Beastie, and he is 9 years old.

Like a lot of mums, I no longer work full time, as child care is not affordable or worth me going back full time. So I work weekends, while Ben is off, and he works in the week. It’s not ideal, but it works for us just now, and it means the boys are always with Mummy or Daddy.

Daddy is a big kid inside, and although he can make as much of a mess as the boys, he can do the fun wrestling play and pretend to be a monster and chase them around while I clean up after them or make dinner.
He works hard, but his dream is to retire at 45, 50 at a push (bless him). Sometimes he makes plans for us to move abroad (which isn’t happening) and then he’ll give me a run down of his traveling bucket list, which he thinks he’ll accomplish in a camper van (that we don’t own).

Jacob is our beautiful angel. Honestly, I know everyone thinks their child is the most beautiful but Jacob was and always has been beautiful. Even when he was first born, he was beautiful! He is currently non-verbal, but we are working with pictures in order for Jacob to communicate and he’s doing really well. Jacob will be going to school full time in January (can’t believe my boys growing up). look out for a post about the school Jacob is going to cus its a fantastic school and I’m so excited he got a place! I should also mention that Jacob has been diagnosed with Autism. I will be posting a lot about this and any help or advice I can give parents about the process I hope will be of use.

Finnley, well he’s the lil bugger in the family. But no matter how mischievous he is, he always makes us laugh. He’s a lil cutie-pie. He loves to tease his older brother. He’ll take his iPad or cereal or juice just to get a reaction from Jacob. He’s got his own language which isn’t english, so were still waiting for him to talk too.

We’ve got our first Family Disney trip later this year which we are SO EXCITED about! Jacob loves Mickey Mouse and Finnley loves Donald Duck! I can’t wait to see their faces when they meet them! So be prepared for lots of posts on that up and coming trip.

And WE LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! So be warned, it will get very festive from the beginning of November till the New Year. We go all out in this house, and yes, I will be bringing back christmas decorations and goodies from Disneyland Paris!

“Obana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Jamie

Welcome To Mummy And The Beasts!

4 years ago, I started my first blog “Once Upon A Blog” and it was all about Disney and my Disney family. I’d always wanted to start a blog, and I found the confidence to give it go with encouragement and support from friends and family.
I also had the time because I was on maternity leave with my first boy, so I thought if I’m ever going to do it, its got to be now. And I’m so glad I did, I have discovered so much about the blogging/vlogging world, and found lots of people who liked the same as me, or I could relate to.
But a lot can happen in 4 years, and now I am a mum of two boys, and there’s been some challenges along the way. So recently I decided to start a new blog based on my family, parenting, advice, lifestyle AND Disney!

I’m the only female in our house, I’m literally surrounded by willies! They are my world, and I take care of them, and support them, but they can also be BEASTS!
With “Mummy And The Beasts” I’m hoping to reach people that have had similar situations as I’ve had, or may be have not yet encountered it but will know what to expect after reading my blog. I’m not an expert, every family is different and go through different things. But maybe knowing they’re not alone, and someone else is going through something similar will make them feel better, that’s what I hope to achieve with this blog. And if I make new friends out of it, then it will definitely be worth it!

“Remember, laughter is 10 times more powerful than screams!”

Jamie